ss coaching is …

• work. The process of unlearning old practices that no longer serve you and learning new practices that do is intense work that is internal and external. You will do the work within our sessions and outside of our sessions in the form of homework and experience-based learning. Integrating new information and skills may involve difficult feelings, such as fear and discomfort.

• about you and what you can do to deepen your connection to yourself and others, sexually and/or intimately. This means that blaming others or external factors that are outside your control are not part of the work.

• tailored to you, your context and learning style.

• discovery oriented. I do not presume to know everything about sexuality and intimacy in general or in relation to you and can never know everything. That isn’t the point. Deepening our understanding of our sexuality and that of our intimate ones may involve complicated feelings. Each one of us has intrinsic parts to our sexuality and parts that we learn from our environment. We change. Our context changes. Society changes. Leaning into the unknown and curiosity are crucial elements of our work together.

• an opportunity to be heard, affirmed, informed and challenged in relation to your sexual and/or intimate experiences, desires, fears, pleasures and pains. This is also an opportunity to receive quality sex education.

• a tool that you may utilize to move through your fear and other difficult feelings surrounding sexuality and intimacy within yourself and relationships. You will develop skills in sexual and intimate self-efficacy. This means that you will develop and strengthen your ability to achieve the sexual and intimacy outcomes that you want.

ss coaching is not…

• a quick fix. This work can get messy and often there is not a road map directing us. Mistakes, failures, and conflict are opportunities for deep learning. All that said, I do offer a pay-as-you-go option. It is possible to take one or two coaching sessions with me and find it valuable. However, for transformative learning, working with me consistently and over a period of time is encouraged.

• destination learning. The work never ends, even if you stop working with me. Expanding and deepening our connection to our lovers, partners, family and ourselves is life-long.

• about blame and avoidance. Part of the work is facing ourselves and the stuff we have been avoiding (or would rather avoid) and learning to move through it.

• advice. I will not tell you what to do or how to do it. That’s for you to discover, with my support. What I can do is to facilitate your process of deciding what to do and how to do it. I can also offer specific suggestions and resources that are tailored to you and your needs. Finally, I can offer sexual health education.

• therapy.  I am not a licensed social worker or a therapist. If you are struggling with your mental health in a way that is causing severe and consistent distress or disrupting your life in a significant way, I am not qualified to work with you. That said, coaching is a great supplement to therapy or other treatments. 

• trauma work. I am trauma-informed, not a trauma therapist or healer. In other words, I am not a therapist or coach in helping people move through their trauma. Your trauma and healing may be a piece of our work, but they are not the center of our work.

• sex work. Our work together will never involve forms of sexual touch or behavior.

Generally speaking…

• you will complete a personal survey prior to working with me. This serves two purposes. For me to:

  1) get to know you and,

  2) better prepare for our time together.

• you will review and sign paperwork.

• we will co-create your goals.

• I will facilitate a process of discovery, understanding, and skill-building.

• I will support you to take action. We will do a lot of processing around our beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, ideas, and feelings. This processing is integral. But it doesn’t stop there, the other part of the work is learning to unstuck ourselves and take action.

• Virtually is preferred for safety reasons.

• In-person is considered with proof of COVID vaccine/booster.

• No, completing your payment is going all in and committing to growing with me. However, rescheduling ahead of time (by at least 12 hours) is an option.